My pikinhood was so much fun abeg from swallowing 50 kobo to a nail chuking ma head (come to think of it now i know y am always having headaches lol) and am serz no jokes, dis my craziness no be 2day e start e don start since i dey inside ma mama belle hehehehe.....
I cant give u all d details of my birth but trust me i remember d day i came out of my mums belle it goes like dis it was a warm/cool saturday afternoon when i knocked on my mums tommy nd i told her ur water go soon break oooo... so u beta enter okada go hospital now cause me i no want make u born me for dis house, jeez wat kind of person am i? i scare myself sometyms serzly. ok back 2 d main tory
Am a p-town shick mhen, i grew up wiv d bestest (if dats a word) family eva nd see d way i turned out kai i don fuck up oooo.... so me as a pikin i was jus 2 curious nd it wasnt funny at all kai for instance when i see someone pass wiv a plate i follow dem nd i dont care if d plate is empty i will still follow d person, i know i was an ofoodie lol. My favourite sentence was "I MUST TOO" i remember wen ma aunts were playin a game wiv stones cant really remember wat its was called i asked dem pls can i play d wonderful ladies said no, i asked again nd dey refused so i picked d stones up nd said i must 2 throway nd dey thought i was jokin i threw d stones ova d fence nd dey beat d living day light out of me nd i cried lol true story.
B4 i started i started my 1st day at primary school na fight i no gree stay 4 class ma aunt had 2 seat wiv me in class, den one teacher i will neva 4get aunty angela she brought out her puppet nd d nxt thing i heard was if u dont write i will swallow you, omo see d way i started writting i no won hear story nd guess wat at d end of d term i ran home 2 my grand dad nd shouted i passed i came one hundered nd onety one in english it means 111th out of 115 students yh i now i am dumb like dat lol.
My pikinhood was jus 2 interesting like wen i was about 6yrs old i had 50kobo dat ma grand dad gave me 2 buy toffee sweet my favourite since i was lil i couldnt go 2 d shops so i begged ma aunts nd dem no gree so i went into d house nd lay down nd was playin wiv d kobo b4 i could say jack robinson d kobo dey inside my belle damn it wasnt funny ma tummy was so heavy i couldnt move, thanks 2 God i went 2 d white house 2 take it out nd it came out my grand dad told my aunts 2 take it out nd go nd buy my toffee nd i licked dem by myself lol true story.
Dats true i also used 2 talk 2 our chickens i used 2 call myself their mother i know i was a foolish pikin nd guess wat i named d chickens after all d ppl i hated nd when i saw dem i shouted out their name nd when dey answered i would say sorry i wasnt callin u, i was calling the chicken hehehehehehehehehehe i know am evil lol.
The funny one was when my grand dad nd i decided 2 plock oranges cause we have all sorts of fruits in ma house, we had a special stick 4 dis task nd dis stick had a nail connected 2 it so we can pull d oranges outta d tree. so it was goin very well ooo den we finished nd ma aunt told me move out of d way nd i ran 2 a place i felt was safe nd d nxt thing i new there was a nail in ma head connected 2 a stick nd i jus started running around nd i think d nxt thing dat happened was dat i passed out cause i cant remember again nd d scar is still on ma head nd it still hurts, wow my pikinhood good tyms. lmfaooooo am sure ppl dat read dis will think am mad but these things really did happened nd more but ive got 2 stop here. Enjoy
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
LIFE B4 ND AFTER MARRIAGE.
Well life before marriage wat can i say, i neva marry oooo so am jus looking for trouble. so this is a conversation between a man nd a woman b4 dem decide 2 do traditional/white wedding hehehehe. Since am making dis story nigerian am goin 2 give dem some typical 9ja names: the man is from calabar so his name is ikott(must be pronounced in a calabar accent), d babe name na ndidi she from infact i dont have a clue were shes from but she fit ikott well well lol am a mumu oooo.....kai.
conversation between ikott nd ndidi b4 dem marry:
i dont know wat dey were talkin about but ikott's 1st comment was
Ikott- Ah... at last. I can hardly wait
Ndidi- Do you want me to leave?
Ikott- No! Dont even think about it.
Ndidi- Do you love me?
Ikott- Offcourse! Alway have and always will!
Ndidi- Have you ever cheated on me?
Ikott- No! Why are you even asking?
Ndidi- Will you kiss me?
Ikott- Every chance i get!
Ndidi- Will you leave me?
Ikott- Hell no! Are you crazy?
Ndidi- Can i trust you?
Ikott- Yes.
Ndidi- Darling!
Ikott nd ndidi done marry for like 2 years now dey done born 12 children their on football team, i know a football team has 11 players but dey had 12 jus incase of incasity lol. look at their life after marriage pls read d conversation dey had be4 dey got married, but dis tym read it from the bottom.
conversation between ikott nd ndidi b4 dem marry:
i dont know wat dey were talkin about but ikott's 1st comment was
Ikott- Ah... at last. I can hardly wait
Ndidi- Do you want me to leave?
Ikott- No! Dont even think about it.
Ndidi- Do you love me?
Ikott- Offcourse! Alway have and always will!
Ndidi- Have you ever cheated on me?
Ikott- No! Why are you even asking?
Ndidi- Will you kiss me?
Ikott- Every chance i get!
Ndidi- Will you leave me?
Ikott- Hell no! Are you crazy?
Ndidi- Can i trust you?
Ikott- Yes.
Ndidi- Darling!
Ikott nd ndidi done marry for like 2 years now dey done born 12 children their on football team, i know a football team has 11 players but dey had 12 jus incase of incasity lol. look at their life after marriage pls read d conversation dey had be4 dey got married, but dis tym read it from the bottom.
Monday, 6 July 2009
Na who send me message?
Na who send me message 2 start blog oooooooooooooooooo..... na fizzy ooooo..... lol, ok so i was on ma own on saturday i was so freaking bored wen fizzy forced me 2 start ma blog nd trust me i could not turn her down cause of d love i have for her lmfaoooo if dis gurl read dis thing i don die 2day.
So after she (fizzy) forced me 2 start ma own blog, i started it nd trust me cause its a cool experience nd i always look forward 2 writing stuff, but i find myself dreaming about my blog nd thinking of things to write, see me see wahala dis morning b4 i woke up i dreamt dat i was some topshot blogger lol nd ppl always looked forward 2 what nxt i was going 2 write nd trust me d dream was going wonderfully well untill i heard someone shout my village name lol nd guess who it was it was ma mama ooooo..... she shouted wont u wake up nd call work nd tell em ur not coming in today kai i vex no be small thing lol.
Well if u come on my blog nd u dont see wat u expected well b4 u clicked on my page d name DAIRY OF A CRAZY 9JA GURL should have summarized d fact dat am crazy (wen i say am crazy i dont mean ive started walking on d road nd talking 2 myself ooooo....) cause some ppl can like 2 fell like dem sabi 2 much. So wat ever u see is wat u get if you no like am ya on ya own.
And a big thank you 2 everyone dat has been on ma blog nd even dropped comments may God bless u ppl oooooo....... amen :)) :)).
So after she (fizzy) forced me 2 start ma own blog, i started it nd trust me cause its a cool experience nd i always look forward 2 writing stuff, but i find myself dreaming about my blog nd thinking of things to write, see me see wahala dis morning b4 i woke up i dreamt dat i was some topshot blogger lol nd ppl always looked forward 2 what nxt i was going 2 write nd trust me d dream was going wonderfully well untill i heard someone shout my village name lol nd guess who it was it was ma mama ooooo..... she shouted wont u wake up nd call work nd tell em ur not coming in today kai i vex no be small thing lol.
Well if u come on my blog nd u dont see wat u expected well b4 u clicked on my page d name DAIRY OF A CRAZY 9JA GURL should have summarized d fact dat am crazy (wen i say am crazy i dont mean ive started walking on d road nd talking 2 myself ooooo....) cause some ppl can like 2 fell like dem sabi 2 much. So wat ever u see is wat u get if you no like am ya on ya own.
And a big thank you 2 everyone dat has been on ma blog nd even dropped comments may God bless u ppl oooooo....... amen :)) :)).
Sunday, 5 July 2009
The H.E.A.T.W.A.V.E made all d M.A.D ppl in hiding in london visible 2 d S.A.N.E people.
So last week was sooooooooooooooooooo...... hot mhen i thought i was going mad, serzly no jokes it was hot. Ur chillaxing in ur house wiv the fan blaring in your face nd your still sweatin, u decide 2 go out ur sweating too damn it wasn't funny at all. I am a real 9ja gurl so every where i went i had my funky blue hand fan wiv me oooo cause i don't like rubbish at all lol.
To top the devilish heatwave like my friend calls it, all the mad ppl wey dey dis country wey we no dey carry our eyes see on a normal cool day, all of dem came out kia i fear. Mhen serzly it was ridiculous lemme gist u guys on a normal day when am goin out i jus walk nd i dont look at anyone cause i don't want 2 destroy my eye sight but on the 1st of july 2009 the case was different i had 2 turn around and look because i was shocked by all i saw that day, some sexy women wiv flat tommy nd beautiful skin (NOT) wearing show belly tops, bum shots, bars nd some skimpy stuvz den 4 d guys hairy backed short men topless damn wat a sight. But there were some good sights too (tall good looking guys topless wiv clean fresh smelling bory now dat i like lol)
We also had (B.D.O) body disfiguration odur chineke mo if u smell d odurs i smelt from humans kai i dont think u would have been able 2 stand it oooo it was bad, i know we re in summer nd dat day was ridiculiously hot but deres a reason y God ceated water nd y d oyibo man invented soap, sponge and deodorants/bodyspray (which are gud investments by d way cause u smell fresh)
You know wen its cold dese things are not easily spotted out, but wen d heat is out mhen u dont even need 2 be in d same location for u 2 smell it, i think ppl dat have refused 2 bath and use d necessary requirements should be fished out and taken 2 a place where its by force 2 baff lol serzly its bad.
Well i have 2 stop here cause jus writting dis brings back memories of dat day dat i bluntly refused 2 remember.
To top the devilish heatwave like my friend calls it, all the mad ppl wey dey dis country wey we no dey carry our eyes see on a normal cool day, all of dem came out kia i fear. Mhen serzly it was ridiculous lemme gist u guys on a normal day when am goin out i jus walk nd i dont look at anyone cause i don't want 2 destroy my eye sight but on the 1st of july 2009 the case was different i had 2 turn around and look because i was shocked by all i saw that day, some sexy women wiv flat tommy nd beautiful skin (NOT) wearing show belly tops, bum shots, bars nd some skimpy stuvz den 4 d guys hairy backed short men topless damn wat a sight. But there were some good sights too (tall good looking guys topless wiv clean fresh smelling bory now dat i like lol)
We also had (B.D.O) body disfiguration odur chineke mo if u smell d odurs i smelt from humans kai i dont think u would have been able 2 stand it oooo it was bad, i know we re in summer nd dat day was ridiculiously hot but deres a reason y God ceated water nd y d oyibo man invented soap, sponge and deodorants/bodyspray (which are gud investments by d way cause u smell fresh)
You know wen its cold dese things are not easily spotted out, but wen d heat is out mhen u dont even need 2 be in d same location for u 2 smell it, i think ppl dat have refused 2 bath and use d necessary requirements should be fished out and taken 2 a place where its by force 2 baff lol serzly its bad.
Well i have 2 stop here cause jus writting dis brings back memories of dat day dat i bluntly refused 2 remember.
Saturday, 4 July 2009
facebook in some ppls dictionary is d place 2 find a wife
I love fbk i no go lie, and i also add ppl i dont know jus out of curiosity i no go lie lol, nd ppl re also allowed to add me out of curosity too. I noticed now dat these days some friend requests are from guys dat want to settle down, quick question WOMEN DON FINISH FOR WHERE U DEY? U can add me as a friend i dont mind.
But dont send me a friend request and attach a love note to it, that thing pisses me off cause some ppl jus know how 2 take d piss. Person wey no know u from adam go jus dey talk about love nd how he cant wait for u ppl 2 have kids, una dey see trouble to top d insult he will now say these are my numbers call me anytym and i cant wait 2 hear from you. In your mind i will take my hrad earned credit dat i have been saving for months cause i dont know when i will get anoda one and call you so we can discuss marriage abi u done miss road.
I know i sound mean but am not doing it purposely jare, its annoying when these things happen cause you start to wonder wats going on with the world, you dont approach ladies like dat now haba na wetin now, na so our parents marry for their tym if na so den e don bizzle 4 us now lol.
Ok its a diary from a crazy 9ja gurl, so some stories go make sense some fit no make sense too but all d same i done write am and i am not going to delete, if you like it gud 4 u if u dont obasara gi lol (dont know if i spelt it well but it means e concern you lol) :)) :))
But dont send me a friend request and attach a love note to it, that thing pisses me off cause some ppl jus know how 2 take d piss. Person wey no know u from adam go jus dey talk about love nd how he cant wait for u ppl 2 have kids, una dey see trouble to top d insult he will now say these are my numbers call me anytym and i cant wait 2 hear from you. In your mind i will take my hrad earned credit dat i have been saving for months cause i dont know when i will get anoda one and call you so we can discuss marriage abi u done miss road.
I know i sound mean but am not doing it purposely jare, its annoying when these things happen cause you start to wonder wats going on with the world, you dont approach ladies like dat now haba na wetin now, na so our parents marry for their tym if na so den e don bizzle 4 us now lol.
Ok its a diary from a crazy 9ja gurl, so some stories go make sense some fit no make sense too but all d same i done write am and i am not going to delete, if you like it gud 4 u if u dont obasara gi lol (dont know if i spelt it well but it means e concern you lol) :)) :))
Why do do 9ja actors/actresses go into d music industry?
So this is my 1st blog nd i dont even know y i started one, but ive done it so i guess its too late 2 turn back lol.
so yesterday i was talking wiv my friend nd he told bout some video he saw on youtube nd trust me now i like gist i rushed to look for it, nd guess wat i found jim iyke ft 2face, i didnt say a word untill i listened to d song nd i was shocked. jim iyke was rapping nd even swearing too can you imagine, i dont understand d point of d song but all i know is dat its stupid, 2face try sha but am still vexed jim did dat.
Y da heck do 9ja actors/actresses think its by force to sing, NOLLYWOOD neva do dem finish dem won enter music industry, like wise ppl say stick to wat your good at nd reap d benefits. 1st its was geniveve nnaji dat sang i didnt say a word (cause i like her lol), 2nd omotala i vexed but i didnt talk, in 3rd place we have a winner patience ozokwor her own was jus funny so i didnt talk too, the lovely dakore egbuson released hers i couldn't handle it any more now casue its not fair how can dey be hurting our ears like dat which such.
The only thing i can say now is dat they are influenced by hollywood stars, but dey dont understand dat these hollywood stars some of them were born wiv dis talent nd dey still had 2 go 2 skool to perfect it nd dats y dey re where dey are 2day, am not saying dat our 9ja actors/musicians lol should go to skool oooo..... am jus lookin 4 trouble
i think i have to stop here 2day cause if i continue dis story no go end so enjoy.
so yesterday i was talking wiv my friend nd he told bout some video he saw on youtube nd trust me now i like gist i rushed to look for it, nd guess wat i found jim iyke ft 2face, i didnt say a word untill i listened to d song nd i was shocked. jim iyke was rapping nd even swearing too can you imagine, i dont understand d point of d song but all i know is dat its stupid, 2face try sha but am still vexed jim did dat.
Y da heck do 9ja actors/actresses think its by force to sing, NOLLYWOOD neva do dem finish dem won enter music industry, like wise ppl say stick to wat your good at nd reap d benefits. 1st its was geniveve nnaji dat sang i didnt say a word (cause i like her lol), 2nd omotala i vexed but i didnt talk, in 3rd place we have a winner patience ozokwor her own was jus funny so i didnt talk too, the lovely dakore egbuson released hers i couldn't handle it any more now casue its not fair how can dey be hurting our ears like dat which such.
The only thing i can say now is dat they are influenced by hollywood stars, but dey dont understand dat these hollywood stars some of them were born wiv dis talent nd dey still had 2 go 2 skool to perfect it nd dats y dey re where dey are 2day, am not saying dat our 9ja actors/musicians lol should go to skool oooo..... am jus lookin 4 trouble
i think i have to stop here 2day cause if i continue dis story no go end so enjoy.
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